Your Bachelor Pad: Part One

One of the things the TBL crew sees a lot of is men who don't understand advertising.

The way you dress is literally a walking billboard of who you are. If you wear a cowboy hat and Wranglers, you are telling women "I enjoy and live the cowboy lifestyle." If you wear a suit and tie and drive a Mercedes, you are telling women "I am a financially secure professional."

The way your bachelor pad is decorated is exactly the same thing. If you want an athletic college girl, you want your pad to reflect that you are active and probably living a life that is similar to how she's chosen to live hers.

This is part one of a series we'll be doing on decorating your pad. We'll try to break it out by age group and messaging.

As an example of an active lifestyle pad for the 18-24 crowd, here are some pics and info ripped from aguycallednick.com where he shows his old post college bach pad decor. The Natural currently has his pad decorated in this style since he is under twenty-five and lives a very active life heavily involved in extreme sports.

Note that almost everything in this place screams what he's about and what age group he belongs to. A college age girl and her friends will immediately feel comfortable in this apartment and want to hang out/party. The message isn't "Damn, look how smooth I am." The message is "Grab some beers, come over and hang out!"

If you want more info on the numbered pointers, Nick lays it out Here

How not to approach

When approaching, having a few go to openers memorized will keep you from being this guy.

Also keep in mind, that if you aren't talking to the girls you are truly attracted to, and settling for girls that are "good enough", then you are selling yourself short. Grow a pair of balls, study some PUA material, and/or contact us directly for some inexpensive dating coaching.

Hot Tub Update

The Eagle has landed.

She is now sitting safely in the garage. Gave her a deep scrub down cleaning and disinfectant bath.
We now need to have 220v power run to the patio, and have The Natural whip up a frame for it.





Ever wonder how a hot tub actually WORKS? So did we.
Found this amazing page over on Spadepot.com that has an interactive diagram of everything. Groovy baby!!. Oh yeah, and PH3AR the bubble sound effects on the blower.

Fall Hats

So the holidays are already here. You can either spend the evenings with family listening to Aunt Mabel talk casserole, or you can round up all the cool cousins to GET OUT AND GO OUT!!

Here are some TBL approved men's hats to keep you in style. 


Most of these can be found over at Hatsinthebelfry.com . 
These are REALLY inexpensive, and an ESSENTIAL part of your wardrobe.


These are best paired with either a light jacket or if worn indoors at a bar, with a tight v neck t-shirt (you've been hitting the gym, right?) Tan, gray, and green are in this season.  
Protip: Add a cool scarf for double style points. 

Alpha Eye Contact

Body language is one of the most powerful tools you have in your life.
     It is conveyed instantaneously by a thousand small things. The way you stand, the way you walk, how much space you take up in the room, and everything else is instantly and constantly assessed by everyone around you. Men, women, children, adults, even dogs pick up where your social standing is based on your body language.

When we do dating/lifestyle coaching, this is one of the first things we change in our students. I'm a student of body language and closely study "naturals" whenever I see them to break down EXACTLY what they are doing that makes me classify them that way without knowing them.

Lately, I've been noticing a subtle, but consistent trend when it comes to eye contact. I call it the "persistent staredown". This is where you make eye contact with someone, and continue it even when they turn their head (whoever breaks eye contact first is the submissive. Between men, this indicates higher status. Between a man and a woman, it indicates her submitting to you. This is usually the first step in attraction. *Note: Do this to the wrong guy and you might find yourself in a fist fight.)

Here, we see Gerard Butler doing a series of dominant eye contact, and then keeping it focused even after she turns her head. She can still feel the stare, which is exciting and attractive.
Dominant Eye Contact: 

Persistant Stare Down:

  Something I find interesting is that alpha body language hasn't changed much in a long, long time. Notice anything similar?

Old School Alphas:

Old School Staredown:

Hot Tub Update

Keeping you updated on the hot tub experience.

The TBL crew rolled out early Saturday morning to retrieve the hot tub.

The Good:
The tub is AWESOME. Huge, blue, nice. It even comes with a cover! It's a lot bigger than we thought. It's 8'x8'. That's a huge tub. Might cost a little more to keep heated, but it's definitely a party tub.

The Bad:
The truck we were going to use wasn't available at the last minute. The tub is so large it's iffy as to whether we can move it even with the big F350 we had. We are looking now at renting a flat bed pickup. Home depot has them for $20 an hour, and you can schedule a flat bed from Uhaul. We will call the hot tub moving service as well to see how much they charge. If it's under $300 it might make the most sense.

Your Mood is Contagious

The single most unifying trait of an attractive person is that they are masters of making people feel good.

Want to be attractive to women? Become an expert in how to feel good. Always be having fun. At the bar, at the club, at your house, at work. You are smiling and laughing and even the smallest things are SO COOL. Everyone wants to hang out with that guy. Everyone wants to be around the person who they know will always be having a great time and be in the group that surrounds him.

Want to be the leader of your social group of guy friends? Become an expert in how to make other people feel good. Be excited about what they have going on. "Damn dude, that new haircut kicks ass!" "Wow, you just made the can in the trash from all the way across the room. No one makes it in less than three tries. You are the man!" If they have their friend or girlfriend with them even better, because then you are building them up in front of others which makes them feel GREAT. This is not kiss ass, this is acknowledging the cool things in people's lives. Know that when their girlfriend's hot friend is in town, that they'll bring them to YOUR house because he knows there is a positive energy and fun.

So many people get it confused when trying to be fun and popular. They think that if THEY are really cool, then people will like them. This is not correct. Popularity is a function of how cool you make OTHERS feel.

You must feel how you want others to feel. If you can't do that, then don't come into their world.  Go do your walk by the lake with the dog, sing your favorite song in the car at full volume, THEN walk into their world.

What you want in a woman

How can you find the right woman, if you don't know what you want?

When we do dating coaching for men, one of the first things we ask them is what type of woman they want. Most do not have a clear answer. The reason is that they have settled all their lives for which ever women chose them. As you begin to build a more attractive style, social circle, and life in general, you will find that suddenly you have much more choice in which women you date.

So what kind of woman do you REALLY want?

For every man that will be different. Here's a good start.

1. Adventurous
2. Challenging and keeps me on my toes
3. A strong woman that can stand her ground, but is and knows how to be feminine.
4. Extremely beautiful
5. Makes me desire her.
6. Amazing conversationalist
7. Positive thinker
8. Loving, caring, and accepts me for me.
9. Girl that's naughty and nice.
10. Amazing sexually - kissing, sex, etc.

Going out

The TBL crew is going out tonight. Thought I'd throw a post up to get your mindset right when hitting the clubs.

This is quoted from Ratisse's ebook "Private confessions."

Mindset going into a club

I'm here to have fun. I'm here to provide value in the form of fun. I talk to lots of people. Those guys standing there clutching thier drinks, hoping something cools happens? Yeah, I'm here to brighten there day. I believe that these women love sex and they want some cool guy to take them home. Yeah, I'm that guy.

Tools and things I look for

When I'm walking around the club I scan for AI (attraction Indicators). When I see it from a girl I want to approach, I immediately go approach her, unless I'm in set with some other girls. I like approaching girls I get AI from because that phase of building attraction is already taken care of for me. I just have to maintain it to ramp it up.

When I'm in set with a girl I am constantly using my body language in a dominant, yet comfortable way for multiple purposes. One thru push/pull to keep her on her toes. I will show semi-disinterest through body language as a tool to show her she hasn't won me over. (Ex: While I'm speaking to her I am scanning the oom for AI from other girls). This example is powerful because it helps me on multiple levels.
1) By us being together, she is social proofing me to other girls which I can approach later.
2) I see these AI's from those girls so I know who to approach later.
3) Since I'm going ADD on her a bit, she now fights to get my attention back by touching me.
4) Shows that I'm not fully invested in this interaction and may leave at any moment.

After isolating, I drop in one or two stories from my life that will help build a stronger emotional connection with a girl.

Throughout the set I'm constantly priming a girl in order to do a couple things.
1) It lets her know where I'm directing this interaction.
2) It acts as a road map for me, telling me where I'm at in the interaction. (Ex: I tell a girl that "If we continue talking, we are going to end up making out.") In this example, her nonverbal reaction to what I've said gives me feedback as to how attracted to me she is, where I'm at in the interaction, and if I can proceed with what I just stated.

Finally, state control. I do my best to be that solid rock that waves crash upon. I try to project that no matter what she does or says, that she is not going to fuck my state up and make me crumble. I'm going to stay being this guy that's having a lot of fun.

Ten second kiss close

Thought I'd post this for those that think it takes a long time to kiss a girl in day game.

This went down last night at a gas station in NW Oklahoma City around Eight.

Bon: Checking out at counter, no other customers, eye contact with clerk, slight smirk. "You want to hear a funny story about this place?
Rockergirlclerk: "About his place? Sure."
Bon: "Bout three years ago I came in here and it was empty like this and there was this REALLY cute blonde behind the counter. We had instant eye contact. There was something there. She knew it..and I knew it. It was just like.. That magic. You know when people just... connect? It was like that"
Rockergirlclerk: Nods, smiles, interested "Yeah."
Bon: Steps in gently, drawing her, starts circular gazing..right eye, lips, left eye..right eye, lips, left eye.. "Well, we just kept looking at each other, closer, and closer, both of us leaning in, didn't say anything, just leaning in..and we just kissed."
Rockergirlclerk: Leaned all the way over the counter about to fall over only about a foot between our noses, eyes as big as saucers, licks her lips ready for the kiss.
Belloverthedoor: **RINGRING!!** as a customer walks in, breaking the spell.

This should be a lesson. From hello to kiss close in under fifteen seconds. It can be done if you bring her into your world.

Hot tub!!

As part of our selfless duties here at The Bachelor Life, we are compelled to occasionally field test certain questions of vital importance to the bachelor world.

The question du jour: "How awesome are hot tubs REALLY?"

We all have been to cool parties/hotels with hot tubs. We all know someone with one, but what's it like to own one YOURSELF? How does this change the game? How much does it cost to maintain REALLY? Is it an unending girl parade or a money pit pain in the ass?

These answers and more we'll track as part of *** Project Hot tub ***


It is a blue eight person tub sourced locally from craigslist. The TBL crew will be picking it up tomorrow. We are purchasing the shell/pumps/etc but will be building a custom cabinet for it to live in.

Oh, and if anyone wants to donate some of these, you get an automatic invite to the official TBL hot tub launch party in December!

Social Intuition Test

So you think you are pretty good at reading people and or social situations. What is the situation in this picture?

I'll pick the best comments and post the best answers.

Men's Scarves

Here's some quote love from hottie Isabella Snow on men and scarves. "Someone please tell me why more men don’t take advantage of automatic sex appeal?
Scarves are like dress shirts – every man can look good in one. scarves make you look good. In fact, the right scarf can make the average man twice as hot."

Askmen.com shows you how to unleash your inner pimp with a scarf.

Great looks

Here are some great fashion looks for men and how to build them.

Kinowear.com Lookbooks

This one is awesome and works for 22-35yo men. Remember, classic always trumps trendy.

Beckham lookin good.

If you are a man, and do not own a scarf, your look is not current for Winter of '09

On Naturals

One of the best things you can do is get some guy friends that are naturals. I have seen things happen with naturals that just do not happen to regular guys.

On Halloween day my good friend "The Natural" and I were in line checking out at the grocery store and the hottest little nineteen year old blonde in a Goldi locks costume actually hand signaled the bagger girl and cashier to not let us leave until she could get his number to go to whatever party he was going to. We weren't wearing costumes or flirting in any way. She simply saw two guys with alpha body language and instantly knew we were the kinds of guys that would be going to a kickass party that night.

The best part was that while she's giving us the number, two or three coworker guys are literally standing there going "What the fuck? We've been trying to get you to come out with us all week." Clearly these guys had been running their weak ass game on her from day one with no play and they saw us getting it gift wrapped on a silver platter. She didn't know anything about us but body language and eye contact.

You may ask yourself what he said to her to "game" her. Nothing. Literally. He just repeated her words back to her while keeping her eyes locked and maintaining body language.

Here's how it went down word for word.

Sacker girl: "Hey, my friend wants to you wait for a second she wants to talk to you."
Us: We both turn around and look at her working at the next lane.
The Natural: "Here we go.."
Goldi Locks: (Walks up to us, doggie dinner bowl eyes locked in TN's tractor beam eye contact) "What are you doing tonight?"
The Natural: (Almost smirk, low voice, stepped in close maybe four inches of distance nose to nose, circles her forcing her to turn to maintain eye contact) "What are YOU doing tonight?"
Goldi Locks: "Why don't you take my number? I get off at ten. I'll come party with you guys."
The Natural: "Give your number to my friend. Later."
Goldi Locks: "Ok. Call me. Really."
The Natural: Walks away while I get digits (and piss off all her lovestruck coworkers)

The power of having friends like this is that when you are in a similar situation you will know what to do and how to do it. I could go into all the technical things that happened in the interaction (forcing/testing compliance by making her turn, domination by stepping way inside her personal space, etc, etc) but with naturals you learn so much faster through examples.

Great Pickup Video

This guy is a pickup artist. He talks about the mindset and reality of being a pickup artist. It's about an hour long, good info if you want a real insight into being a PUA.




Link goes to Charmingrogue's site.

Pickup Artist "Ratisse" on pickup and gaming

The first post

So this is it. The first post.

This site is intended as the launch pad for men in Oklahoma City to take control of their lives. Dating, sex, social circles, success, clothes, life, and happiness. Here is where it begins.

I've just taken the first step. Will you? - Bon