Tuesday, March 2, 2010

What a married man really wants

So you've done it. You've gamed your ass off, became an alpha, found the girl. Married the girl.

You've got the house, the kids, the job, and the awesome wife who you (omg) actually truly love.

Now what?

Well, the best thing is, it's up to you.  But. Even if everything is on track and you're really truly digging your kids and love your wife, it's easy to fall into a pattern.

Falling into a pattern is easy to do. It's your job to break it up so it doesn't become one.  This goes not only for taking care of yourself with exercise and adventures, but also in keeping your relationship in the proper man/woman perspective.

No girl wants to spend her life with some boring old dude, so don't become that.

If you want more sex, make it happen. If you want a sloppy blowjob for father's day, don't ask for clothes or a new set of socket wrenches. You are the man and part of that is letting her know what you really want.

Suffering because you don't get what you want makes you resent her. If she's great enough to marry, she's great enough to not deserve your resentment. She deserves betterafraid to ask than a pissy, bitch ass husband that is for what he REALLY WANTS.

Here's one man's Fathers day request:

Every year you ask what I want for Father's Day with the kids (conveniently?) sitting right in front of us, and every year I provide G-rated suggestions because (call me a prude) its sorta not appropriate to ask for sexual favors in front of the kids. So in the off chance you're reading the rants or looking for a poolboy, even though we don't have a pool, here's what I really want:

I want to wake up to you sucking my cock. Defined, this means that I'm asleep and you go down on me while I'm asleep, not after 45 minutes of me pretending to be asleep and dreaming of winning the blow job lottery. Please skip the requisite if-I-have-to sigh and eye rolling for one day.

I want a breakfast including eggs, bacon, and fresh fruit. No carb-packed wheat-byproducts, nothing frozen, nothing out of a box, and especially nothing in individually wrapped servings.

I want to have a fun day doing anything except what is on the honey-do list. Anything on the do-honey list is perfectly OK.

Giving me grief while watching Nascar Sunday is not a good idea.
Giving me head while watching Nascar Sunday is a great idea.
Asking me to dig some holes in the backyard is not a good idea.
Asking me to plug your hole in your backdoor is a great idea.
Taking the kids out for a while and letting me nap would be nice.
Taking my cock out and sucking it after my nap would be nicer.

For dinner, I want a slab of red meat. Fresh, premium, not shrink wrapped. BBQ'd, not nuked or broiled. Rare. So rare a good veterinarian can revive it. A tall, cold beer. And fresh vegetables on the side, although it's unlikely I'll eat them, so I don't know why I bothered mentioning them.

After the kiddies are asleep, I want sex. Uninhibited, sweaty, porn star sex. Gone for the night is the bored housewife in boring clothes reading a boring book, I am going to be the dominant male and you to be my submissive anything-to-please-daddy fuck-slut.

I want you wearing something erotic. Defined, 'erotic' includes leather, lace, high heels, crotchless, racy, etc. 'Erotic' probably includes that thing you bought for Valentines Day two years ago that never made it out of the drawer. 'Erotic' does not include baggy jammies, grandma underwear, furry slippers, sweatpants, sweatshirts, sweatsocks, or the asexual garments you wear the other 364 days.

I want my cock sucked again, deep throated, like you can't get enough, and when I cum, I want you to savor it like it's Godiva white chocolate. Don't give me that 'it tastes funny'crap; lick it up and suck it up and smile all the way.

I want you fucking me like its the last dick you'll be getting for a while. Acceptable positions are on your knees, on top, doggie style, bent over, hanging from the ceiling, pretty much anything except missionary on the bed. Slap your ass cheeks, rub your clit, pinch your nipples, talk dirty, suck me often, and most importantly, finger your ass. Finger your ass until its ready for my cock, then beg for my cock up your ass and fuck it like you did with your pussy.

When I cum, yes, I'm cumming in your ass. I don't care if you get the runs tomorrow, I am cumming in your ass. Because it feels great. And then I'll fuck your ass until I'm limp and resigned to waiting another 365 days to tap your ass again.

Because Dear Wife, it's Father's Day, my day, and that's what I really want.

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