Here's a letter from one of them.
- You guys are freaking hilarious. At the very least please record the audio from your night. Last weekend's favorite quote: "I want your boobies to kiss my boobies."
- Please hand out a lyrics sheet to all members of the hot tub. I would love to help pick the songs, if I'm going to have to listen to them.
- Let's make it an official rule. Every time a guy stands up, you ladies must yell at the top of your lungs "Cocktail!" and then drink. Also for every time someone says boobies, the group drinks.
- Plastic Only! - Lesson Learned
- Just say "Turn off your porch light." rather than unscrewing it. I will hop right up and do it. I didn't realize when you were having someone unscrew a light it was mine.
- In the event you are playing "guess who's foot.", please be clear with your rules. There seemed to be some confusion in the past.
- I didn't quite catch all the shapes that had been shaved in the ladies' Whoonie Nananas. Please redo that conversation and this time a little louder.
- Bring back Willie. Everyone loves Willie. Or even better, just get Jack Black. My favorite part was hearing him talk about how much he loves being a soccer coach to these little kids while he is sitting buck ass naked in a hot tub. Somehow naked hot tubs and talks of children don't seem to mix.
- Start and finish times; 3:30am to 5:30 throws my schedule completely off. Can we shoot for 1-3am?
- Thanks for describing the cup sizes. Let's make that a habit. Really, feel free to be as descriptive as possible. When I compared notes with the other neighbors, we weren't exactly sure who had what. Maybe repeat your name after the description.
- After this weekend we will have two more neighbors. They will be living upstairs and I am guessing will have a pretty unobstructed view. I do not know if they will find you as funny as I do. Maybe an invite for them?
- Bathroom use. Kudos to all of you who got OUT of the hot tub! The couple of you who didn't... Shame!
- The ass smacking, although it sounded solid, I think needs some more work. Don't be shy. Really get after it! After all, you're drunk, and you'll need something to remember it by.
- If you find yourself in a lull, feel free to just yell "Boobies!" or "Cocktail!" for no apparent reason.
- Last rule. Please only have very attractive naked hot tub party attendees. Unless you follow strict rules of bringing them home after I have gone to bed. This will allow me to imagine it is Halle Berry, Jessica Alba, and Pam Anderson in your hot tub.
-- Your neighbor.
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